to disobey him

there is this point
telling a little kid
what to do
telling your son
a child you made
an independent consciousness
standing in front of you
not doing what you say
where I ask myself
why does he do what I say
if he decided not to
there would be nothing I could do
to change his mind.
Sure I could threaten him
coerce him into doing what I want
but that would not be changing his mind
that would just be changing his behavior
his actions.

I want him to listen to me
because I want him to notice how I am living
I want him to assist me in making my life feel better
help me to do the things I need to do to feel happy
to get things done.
I try to say this to him with my eyes
but I never know if he really gets
it, though I feel him scrape the
bottom of my barrel
I wait in a precious moment
bobbing like a few drops at the end of a leaf, 
a dry tongue at the end of a dry brain
I am relieved to see him move
I waited and he obeyed
There was nothing I could do if he had chose not to
Nothing.